Friday, January 06, 2006

Ready Set Go


january sky
Originally uploaded by tessa's mom.
As vast as I've found the blogosphere through my familiarity with mama bloggers, I am bowled over by this whole new wonderful branch of artists and writers I stumbled upon as a result of Blogging the Artist's Way. Thanks to Christina at My Topography, where I first saw it mentioned. I am soooo happy to have found all of you who are participating. My reading list has grown considerably!

So, I've been reading the first 24 pages and encountering some familiar resistance. But I realize that's okay and I intend to push through it and give myself to the work with a beginner's mind. (As much as possible.) No MP out of me yet, surprise. I spent the morning cleaning the house so I could sit down guilt-free and do some creative work, whether that was writing some pages or posting or whatever. I was pretty distracted, with Tessa peeping and playing and requiring my intermittent attention, so finally I nursed her down and instead of writing, I continued cleaning and fed myself lunch and before I knew it, she was awake and Me Time was over.

I think this is going to be one of my obstacles: feeling guilty about Me Time. It's been a rocky transition from gainfully employed to SAHM. I LOVE being a mother more than anything and I actually do get little bits of time to myself here and there during the day. But when I have a little chunk of time to myself, I always feel like I should spend it cleaning or otherwise contributing to the household, especially since I'm not contributing financially. In fact, if I did have a paying job, I wouldn't feel one bit of guilt about writing or playing or going to museums or on walks. I would feel entitled to those things. Now, I don't. That's how much value I have assigned to money, and how little I assign to my creativity.

But these are just more reasons to do the work. I'm convinced that the fruits of my creativity could provide for my family, it's just a matter of nurturing the soil.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

If anyone ever deserves some "me time" it's the SAHM. I think it is especially imperative to carve out such time. You are managing a household; moreover, you are shaping a life. Your child will be better off having a mother who refills her well regularly. Of course, these words are easier read than followed, but you've started and that's an accomplishment.

eliza said...

hear, hear. i think the M part of SAHM means that you are contributing rather significantly to the household!

Anonymous said...

i worry that i'll feel the same way when i have children as i place a lot of value on money. but i also know, from watching my mom (who was a sahm) that if you don't take some me time it hurts you and the child in the long term. cause i truly believe that we're better able to care for others when we've cared for ourselves...sorta like how they tell you on an airplane to put the mask on yourself first and then help others.

i love the communities that pop up on the blogosphere too, and quite happy to know of your blog! :-)

Anonymous said...

Love your honest post. Just wanted to say Hi as another AW group member. Looking forward to reading more! :)

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree that as a mama, you've GOT to have that time to feed your soul. I wish my mother (who is an amazing mother) would've done it for herself more - it's one of the lessons I've learned from watching her life. All of this to say not to fuss at you, but giving you support and bloggy hugs on this journey! I'm so glad you're part of the group!

Teri said...

Thanks wonderful gals! It seems so silly, reading it over. Guilt over creating? Guilt over Me Time?

Show me a real problem!

Anonymous said...

Hey Teri!

So gad to meet you-- what you wrote in your post Fuck Yeah-- captured so much of my very same feelings/experiences/issues---- this is gonna be one hell of a journey! Looking forward to sharing it with you-- Elizabeth
http://bluepoppy.omworks.com

Anonymous said...

I think you deserve artist dates! two hours a week of Self time is good for the soul. Tessa will benefit from what gifts this time gives you too!